Friday, December 11, 2009
Chapter 13:
at 12:01
I'm back from the 8 days canoe camp, & it's been a long, long time since I've been blogging.
But well, this gonna be one of the most eventful incident/period of the year, so why not get the rust off & start typing.
I really love training at Kallang, albeit the choppy water, lack of comfortable resting grounds during breaks & the BOOOOO! food. But well, the programs, coaches, training as a (full boys + girls ) team really win it back.
We improved.
& that's the most gratifying part.
Moreover, there are times when we really work as a team, regardless of our genders.
Did the camp make/break us?
I vote for the former.
But we do have a long way to go.
Some thing will be resolved easily, some things not.
& it's all up to us whether we wanna face it.
Perhaps, denial might be a good thing, 'cause no serious explosions will result, which may really break all of us.
But, things might stagnant, let's pray not.
This camp has really been rather exciting for me.
From the usual craft I take to trying out new crafts, and eventually having a partner.
& I'm still adjusting.
I can't say I prefer which craft or whether it's easier having a partner or not 'cause everything have its own pros and cons.
I can only be determined that I won't be an asshole and say things like "I wished that I have been on XXX so that I won't be subjected to XXX", and not whine 'cause all decisions should be respected.
& I should never compare 'cause it just ain't fair.
And yes, from this camp, I've taken away a lot, including a dream that is forming in my head.
But now, I pray for determination and perseverance that will lead me through.
I am easily & deeply affected by people.
I still am.
Let's hope that I am able to surpass this and accomplish things that I want to.
We cried, we laughed, we disagreed.
Have we matured?
I hope so.
Some things have changed, some haven't.
Let's strive for improvements.
.
Sometimes, being in a team is so fun.
So many people going towards the same aim, trudging along side with you.
It's heartwarming and touching to see when you are feeling just so down.
Compared to band, the current team in my life is so small.
It's such a big difference.
You get to know everyone, that was the first difference I noted.
I am tempted to retract that observation.
How much do we know of each other?
Do you know her likes/dislikes, her ambitions, her favourite colour?
It all got me started.
We just appeared closer?
I certainly hope not.
Or perhaps, in a big band, there are so many people that cliques truly did not matter.
Maybe that's the difference.
Let's say, ain't all catalysts used in chemical reactions amazing?
But actually, thinking about them, they are actually rather sad, no?
They triggered the reaction, to bond two different chemical together, and observed the changes.
Yet, at the end of the day, it's them who remained by themselves and unchanged.
They started it, they watched everything go on, but seriously, they are out of the equation entirely, helplessly resting on top of the reaction arrow.
Such situation can be prevented, if only everybody strives to be green.
But if only the blue tried, he'll still be the odd one out.
But really, to the yellow(s) who are already each other, why should they bother right?
One more will just invade, no?
SIGH SIGH.
Stop thinking too much.
But really, it gets really tiring.
I'm giving up.
And I will think, what I am I sacrificing all for?
Worth it/not?
& in the very first place I ain't thinking about medals or anything.
Just about time spent on people.
People who truly deserve my time.
No?
& I sometimes gets to the point whereby I ask myself, what am I doing?
(That why I say i shouldn't get affected by people)
But, I'm already in it, so let's just do the best I can.
Canoeing.
It's the life NOW.
But I'm really scared I can't make it. Newer Posts
