Monday, June 22, 2009
Chapter 5:
at 22:12
Okay, I'm not going to make it to one week without posting!
:D
Training today.
I'm LATE again.
Got to get rid of this trend.
:/
& halfway through training, I think I've became a lil' claustrophobic.
I'm truly afraid of dying from suffocation..
It sucks to be gasping for air but yet keep feeling that it's not enough.
):
Hence, I began thinking.
I'm not afraid of death, but I don't want to struggle & struggle but am not given a chance, leading to death..
It's kind of scary, wanting to live, & trying your best to (by gasping for air to maintain life) but can't 'cause no air can get in..
It's like struggling to no avail.
& I'm really scared of these situation..
:/
& my engine for trainings is slowing down.
As in, for running, I'm pushing myself on now, and I can do it!
:D
But, for other aspects sometimes, I find myself in the midst of giving up, and having negative thoughts.
):
Unbecoming..
:/
But sometimes, it's hard.I SHOULD STOP THE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS.
Moreover when you think that you are swimming against a current, or rather swimming in a sea that doesn't care whether you drown or not as compared to other swimmers, it's harder than ever.
>:(
.
After training had JTS at Shokudo(Raffles City).
It lacks some atmosphere aye~
Heh!
Then went Junction8 to watch Ghosts of Girlfrieds Past with Benjamin and YiJia.
(:
The movie is kinda weird but still okay~
:D
& thus ends my day.
.
& I'm mourning over that one week holidat that WOULD NOT be extended.
):
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Chapter 4:
at 21:59
Sometimes, I don't really understand stand why certain people pops up with remarks which makes me unknowing of how to react.
You know, like, why make a comment, and later say it's okay.
Purposes of speech and words is to create some sort of a reaction right?
So at times, I rather motives be spelt out clearly so I would know what is expected of me.
For example, why comment on my hair colour, when I can't do anything to changed it?
(Not that someone was that ridiculous to comment on it.)
But, on other aspects of my life aye!
):
This makes me a tad grumpy 'cause it kinds of dent my mood a lil'.
:/
ROAR.
SIGH.
.
AH WELL, I'm going to eat dimsum with mummy and sis tomorrow.
WOHOHO!
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
.
I am quite happy now.
:D
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Chapter 3:
at 23:13
What make something a lie?
The deliberate twisting of facts indeed qualify as a lie.
However is a plain, simple yet deliberate act of concealing the truth counted as a lie?
For the past year, certain truths and revealing of nature got me pondering and I've yet to arrive to a proper conclusion.
Perhaps you do not have friends who conceals information but I can assure, it is most definitely unsettling to discover bits of information which your friend chooses not to let on.
First, do you pretend you are unaware or do you make it known to your friend?
& should you feel offended or just brush it off?
Furthermore, do you question the motive? (i.e.: Why hide it from you?)
Sigh, it is an outright lie if I claim that it doesn't make me feel not trusted and all associated negative feelings.
I genuinely thought that this kind of sneaky behind-the-back acts were over 'cause I was deluded for 3 years before I found out the truth..
But, seriously, why can't I believe that it is in your nature?
It's time to wake up, wake up.
Even though I know that only me and less than five truly knows everything, I will feign ignorance.
Because, you're just an apple in so many souls' eyes.
& it does me no good to taint it.
Though sometimes it is exasperating to know that almost all thinks that you're "oh-so-perfect" when you're most definitely not, I guess that it's time to accede to the ways of life.
A leopard can't change its spotsYou're definitely one.
& not the mild one from the zoo, but one of the wild.
.
On a lighter note, met up with Pat, Lu and ZhengWei today!
Had a haircut!
:D
Monday, June 15, 2009
Chapter 2:
at 22:57
I'm back from training!
I almost couldn't wake up in time for it, so cabbed to school.
A waste of money, sigh~
Today, I completed my 4.0km run!
Am really very, very happy.
Since I sprained my ankle and shortly followed by the pain in my knee, I was constantly very stressed up about running.
But, finally, I completed a run without stopping!
(:
Really superly duperly overjoyed aye!
:D:D
Previous attempts at running with the time always failed due to stress and trying to keep up with others when I jolly well knew I missed several runnings.
Today, I realised, the only person to compete with is myself.
(:
I must be positive towards running!
Sigh, there was a time when I enjoyed running, and it was not long ago.
Ha~
From today onwards, I must try and overcome the stress induced from running with team!
:D
*determined*
.
Sometimes, I think that what needs to be overcome and convinced is actually just yourself.
Mentality is actually very important and essential in completing a task.
(:
I think I've truly become stronger after joining HCanoe, regardless physically or mentally!
:D
ChuinYing blacked out today!
I hope you're fine, please sleep, sleep, sleep more and rest well!
):
.
Nowadays, I think my life revolves round canoe a lot.
Sometimes, it's really very tiring, but I really enjoy myself a lot.
(:
Unlike band, the team is only made up of 12 people.
But, it's really very sweet to know that you're working hard towards a common goal with people you're familiar with.
It's a brand new experience as in band, you're trudging on with 100 plus other people, with you only knowing a handful.
Despite the sap in energy, I have not yet regretted joining and I doubt I ever will.
(:
Let's all work hard!
:D:D
I gonna be a tough and busy ride ahead!
(I'm already feeling the heat. :x)
.
Challenges posed are often daunting at first sight, but the feeling after you got through it is really satisfactory.
I guess without it, life would indeed be quite dull.
(:
Chapter 1:
at 03:24
Great, I'm motivated to get back into the blogging business.
Time now, 3.25 am and there's training tomorrow.
That just goes to show how enthusiastic I am about this new product.
Well, truth to be told, I had trouble sleeping.
So, here I am.
.
You know, habits are hard to maintained & once broken it's almost near impossible to get them back.
That was me with blogging in the previous blog.
Breaking the trend and just stopping there.
Perhaps, then, I knew that even if I posted, there would be a great imbalance as I wasn't certain how much happy and spirited news I could churn out in response to negative views hur!
Nowadays, I felt that life is more or less more normal for me, and I do not feel as troubled and lost as 4 months ago. (:
Speaking of which, this year, albeit only 6 months and around 4 months of school passed, has indeed been trying.
All of which was not at all foreseen last year.
:/
Though it was pretty demoralising and discouraging, it's still a life experience aye!
(I'm still glad it's over.)
Let's see:
There was the end of holidays, officially marked on 02 Feb, quickly followed by the start of orientation and all the panicky moments hailed!
Trying to fit in is really tiring and not knowing anyone was really quite bad and low on spirits!
Juggling with time, choosing CCAs, getting thrown into a new class full of different people of various natures.
Having to neglect secondary school friends due to hectic schedule, keeping up with the schoolwork (O levels certainly pales in comparison), attending trainings, keeping up with HuangChen practices, teaching tuition.
OMYMAMA~
That was frenzied..
I still remembered that period I was really not quite myself, like kind of lost the passion to be enthusiastic and everything. Even got to the extent of being rather afraid of just plain being myself lest criticism and nonacceptance results.
):
But, it's all in the past.
:D
It's still not the ideal situation I would liked to have currently, but what more can I expect.
I really do only have 24 hours in a day, and am a procrastinator by nature.
How?
Sigh~
But, I think, the worst has passed.
I happily enjoying trainings with all the teammates though I do feel quite overwhelmed by the intensity and frequency!
There's only about 1 day of rest, maximum, between two trainings and I still want to play, read, have alone time and etc.!
Time is really not enough! ):
&, despite feeling quite scared of the class in regards of relationships aspects, it's all turning quite alright.
But there still a lot of rooms for improvements!
Sigh, I keep telling myself I must try and be friendlier and stuff but sometimes it's really kind of daunting aye!
But again, I'm only left with 1.5 years more with them!
So, I must try harder :D
As for, friends..What more can I say.
The crashing of schedules is really..not welcomed by both parties but all are so busy!
SIGH~
But still am glad that some of us always attempts to try to stay in contact and meet up!
I hereby promise that I will try to dedicate and set aside time for my friends!.
As we grow older, we all have to learn the skills of juggling time.
There are so many tasks to accomplish and so many people to catch up with.
What do you prioritise?
Sometimes, it's really difficult and rather unfeeling to choose one over another.
But, you can't possibly split yourself up or clone yourself, can you?
):
I do hope I get better at this..
.
Ah well, I better go and sleep 'cause tomorrow got training!
Must persevere and be strong!
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