Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Chapter 74:
at 21:29
I feel ultimately freaking-hell restless after a day of quite-productive studying. (with G)
Damn, & I have this gnawing feeling that I failed myself again.
& I wonder how to relieve myself from ingrained bad habits.
And I'm thinking about love, loved, loving, friends, once had, letting go, being happy, smiling, being brave, having courage, being yourself, not caring, being accountable, I suck, gut feelings, a levels, scholarships, uk, yijia, lu&pat, z, g, lij, durians, mango cheesecake, no food for rest of the night, sandy, hcanoe, xinfang, tingyan, being a bitch, friends who stay, friends you say goodbye to, friends you simply lost touch with, not being able to donate blood, crying.
All in split seconds.
Shit.
I need to talk, talk about everything under the sky, to myself & to someone.
But as I grow older, I hide more.
& I don't like it.
Okay, the only comprehensible thought I had was :
Let your life increase in depth before you ever consider the breadth.
Which to me just simply means : get committed, & more involved before letting yourself get sucked into other events.
.
To self: & where's the changes you talked about.
All talk, bah. Newer Posts
