Hi, I've JUST rejected a job at the Inland Revenue Authority of Singapore (IRAS), and might be rejecting more.

I really want the Autistic internship.

Man, the opportunity costs incurred!
Sigh, I hope it's well worth it!

.

On a side note, prom-shopping is over and done with!
(:
(Went gai gai w G, Lij & Rach!)

& I'm a carefree girl now.

(Don't remind me that technically my A Levels has yet to be over.)


.

Teeheehee, had dinner w nana & lulu!
;)

.

DO YOU KNOW?
(I don't know from when,)

But, the word convoluted has always been spelled convulated to me!
Major big difference, baby!


Top 10 books/series I shall (re-)read: (in no order)

1. Harry Potter - J K Rowling

Never read a single word from any of the 7 books. (Y)

I don't care if you expect Daniel Radcliffe, one should always celebrate her beauty! Hehehehe!



2. Life of Pi - Yann Martel



3. Atonement - Ian McEwan



4. Schooling - Heather McGowan



5. The Reader - Bernhard Schlink

I MUST READ THIS: it's about the difficulties which subsequent generations have in comprehending the Holocaust.

I wanna watch the movie tooooo! Kate Winslet is pretty too! Hahaha, I'm so pervy.



6. Jane Austen's works

Holding on the Mansfield Park for the moment!



7. Aldous Huxley's works

Brave New World is a must read, people!



8. H.G. Well's works



9. A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket & Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography

This is a re-read for me; pardon me for re-living me childhood.
But anyway, who else besides me think that Snicket seems odd?
Like, real odd!

Apparently Wikipedia save the day. (yet again)
Snicket is both the author's pen name, and a character in the book.
(Don't ask me how one's brain can get so utterly convoluted.)




10. Works of the Brontë sisters : Charlotte, Emily & Anne

Heeheee, somehow, I doubt all the time till University will be enough for me.
But will, with great dreams come great achievements. (I hope.)

& Don't worry, I'm not turning into some big nerd.
Frivolous books are always welcome, since some of the above mentioned books will no doubt put me to sleep.
(It isn't supposed to, but well....)

Heh, sorry for the lack of update!
I was totally off techno-stuff for like 2 days!





.


My sleep routine is not very good recently, being unable to wake up very early.
My my, do remind me that BioP1 is a 8am paper.
Shucks.

.


Anyway!
I spent the last 2 days finishing up 3 books (evidently not A levels related)!
& this makes me very happy.

WAHAHAHAHA.
How long is it since I properly read without feeling guilt/falling asleep?


.

Meeting G & Lij later to study & shop.
(Or rather I'm late meeting them! Hahaha)

.

Hehehehehehehehe!
At TingYan's house to Mahjong overnight!
(With STUPID JAYKEN WHO IS LATE, & Lester.)

WIN $$, WIN $$!
Heheheheheh!


.

Went for Youth for Autism interview yesterday; it lasted for 30 minutes.
Pray for me aye?

I REALLY WANT IT SO BADLY 'cause autism has always been an interest area for me.
& I'm actually contemplating becoming a Special Education teacher.

Sigh, I really hope I'll get in!
;)


.

I want to watch Walking with Dinosaurs.
It's very expensive.
Sigh, I'm gonna consider x 1ooooooooo.
:(

Conversations with the charming brother:

Bro: Eh, you got cute shampoo? I got cute body foam and cute facial wash.
(By cute he means those small and convenient packs; & he proceeded on to demonstrate by showing me.)
Me: No ley. But I got cute person. *points to self & GRINS*

*Bro walks off*

.

Bro: Eh, how do I transport the 2 balls ah? My bag only has room for one.
(He borrowed both of my volleyballs.)
Me: *Pulls at my t-shirt and pats the stomach* Hee.

*Bro walks off* x 2.


.


I think I am ingrained w the ability to exasperate people.
(Y)


.


You may think me weird, noting down such small little incidents, but I believe that it's small gestures along the way that build the foundation for most relationships.

Out with Patrina & TingYan.
Gosh, it's been ages since I've properly went out with Ting.
♥!
We went to sit, talked & eat at the CoffeeClub at RafflesCity.
(The food's so not worth the price.)

Taken using the almighty iPhone4 (of TingYan)!




Heeeheeee!

.


I'm shortlisted for the Youth for Autistic programme.
& Yijia tooooo!

I'm over the moon!
I genuinely thought that they rejected us both!

Pray for me tomorrow!
;)

Today's the 19th death anniversary of Freddie Mercury.

Can I tell you how much I love his works?
CAN I?

♥♥♥ x 1ooooooo!

Saw this on Twitter:
Dear God: Give Freddie Mercury back and we'll give you Justin Bieber.

Hell, yeah!
HAHAHHAHAAHAH!

In a rush to meet LOVERLY PAT. I WILL UPDATE SOOOOOOOON!!! :D

♥ FREDDIE MERCURY.






And, I had Ajisen ramen yesterday.
Once again I awoke to horrible stomachache & diarrhea.
Wth is wrong with my digestive system!


.

Okay, I am really slacking like siao recently.
Million apologies to Bio.

.


OH MAN, I FEEL ANOTHER BOUT OF DIARRHEA COMING.
HATE THIS.

(But thankfully this didn't happen during 'A's.)

Large topic I'm gonna rant about today.

Adoption.

A few years back, I had this goal in mind - for every one kid I give birth to, I adopt one.
(I recalled mentioning it in just-15.bs.com)

I figured that life's about experiencing, & since childbirth appears to be a great leap to maternity for many, why not?
Yet, there's this nagging thought that since there's so many orphans in the world, why create more children when you can actually feed and provide for the ones already in the world.

These are children who are helpless with regard to their lots in life.
They have not done anything at all to land themselves in such plight.
Children who did not have a choice, unlike you and I, in the life they could lead.

While many of us are pondering which university course to take, which university to enter, or which country to embark our academic pursues in, they have ABSOLUTE no choice at all.

No, I am not implying that we do not deserve all that we have; our parents tolled hard to allow us these choices.

But, you must understand, I insist that no children deserve any less just based on birthrights.

& to me, I see no difference in children simply based on race, or genes.
Other differences, to me, are merely accumulated through their childhood.

So, does it really matter that your child developed from the division of a zygote which is a fusion of YOU and YOUR SPOUSES' gametes?

It matters?
I think not.

I agree, nature affects. But nurture too.
& it's not as though we are in complete control of the complete genetic make up of the kid after all right?

So tell me, why does it matter so much?

Does inheritance of 50% of your chromosomes, hence part of your "blood" renders it your child?
Is biological relationship so superior and almighty?

I can't understand the resounding "No"s I get from people when adoption is mentioned.

When you can jolly well provide for a young one, why must it be someone you specially pro-created?
Why not give this opportunity to someone, who will DEFINITELY be deprived of this chance?

I am really indignant about this!

.

On another note, someone told me that adoption would only be a choice if he/she was infertile.

Wait a minute there.

What caused the change of attitude towards adoption?

It's actually extremely selfish in a way.

You want a child.
If fertile, who cares for orphans?
But now, oooh, infertile - Hey, adoption seems appropriate now!

That's frickkin' self-serving and downright convenient, no?!

He/she is totally not thinking/considering the interest of this young one, but only cater to his need just when it neatly coincide with theirs!

That's not how it is!

While you are happily living life, they're still be deprived of a proper one, no?

One is merely using them as tools to fulfill their desire to become parents, no?

Sigh.

.


I am not agreeing that all should adopt children as mindsets of people are just not apt!
But what I am questioning is the deeply ingrained sentiment that is so against adoption. (which can conveniently change upon news of infertility.)

Explanation, people?

.

A spike in readership yesterday (i.e 23 Nov).
I wonder whether there is a strong linear correlation between pseudo-freedom and people using the computer.

Heh, enough of nerd language!

.


FREEDOM IS SWEEEEEEET.

Teehee~


.


Went to town w deborah, fly, jia, xiuhui & xuan!
(We just ate & talked, as usual.)

Heh, wanted to go somewhere nearer so I can go home early to run.
(I am so gonna adopt back my fitter body.)


FAIL. x 1oooo.
Nevermind, I made plans to run w Rach alr.


& that's pretty what my first step towards freedom entails.

.

I should be studying Econs.
But again, I should too be doing things I think is worthwhile.

This pretty much sums up the biggest insight I gain from As.
(I think.)

Very proud of myself today.
Utterly proud!
:D

For one more day!
(Book by Mitch Albom, but apt title for the day!)

WOOHOO.

Gosh, can't not do a post; I feel obligated to my blog!
LOLLL.


A Levels finally gonna be over soon.
(Yes, I am conveniently ignoring BioP1 on 02Dec.)

I'm glad, I'm glad.
I'm really rather out of my mind from studying!

But now that it's goona be over, I'm a little lost as to what to do.
I sound crazy.
.

Off to read Bio!

.

MUAY THAI, ANYONE? :D

I don't feel like posting today!
So I shall do 5 random facts again.
Hahahahahha!

1. I don't like it when drivers are very impatient when you're crossing the road.
   & hence decide to make a turn IMMEDIATELY after you passed them!
   It's very nerve-wrecking and downright RUDE!


2. Don't like cyclists speeding past me after I give way to you.
   Very rude also!!! :(


3. For the first time in my life, I am genuinely hating someone. I really hate you for being so disgusting, desperate and fake.


4. Currently thinks that most guys are born with brain, but underutilise them when it comes to relationships.
   (While some girls over utilise theirs, to either become (i)frickkin' scheming or (ii)over-emotional.)


5. Will sponsor kids in other countries, if I ever become rich because it soothes my own conscience by knowing that I am alleviating situations of children suffering fates not of their doing.
   (Indeed, in a way, it's self-maintaining as it's soothing MY conscience.)

Never fight in front of your kids.
And never ever ask them to take sides.

Don't tell me I'm 18.
Don't tell me I ought to know how to judge.

I merely know I'm your kid.
Both of your kid.

& there's no right/wrong when it's so personal.

Why must everyone end up crying?
Why.

.

I will not marry unless I'm frickkin' certain.

Friends.

It's indeed rare to find individuals who accept your opinions on events, even those involving themselves - especially criticisms.
They may not need to agree since the point is actually to merely accept.

& at this very minute, my definition of friendship has taken another leap.

Best friends are something I've long grown out for.
I mean, I see no point in classifying a "best"; it serves only to break hearts of others equally important but yet carelessly neglected.

(& partly, I don't believe that someone can be there for you all the time.)

Good friends are something I cling on to.
& the new insight mentioned, is simply the line between slight superficiality & candidness between friends.

The level of closeness, to me, is proportional to the amount of truth you can tell this person.
Truth regarding yourself, and regarding her.


When you find that you need to hide some truth from her, there's something wrong.
No?

I understand everybody holds something above friends.
For some, it's studies.
Others, love.
Me?
My principles.

But to have someone who can genuinely accept well-meant opinions regarding their weakness from another, imo, is sign of trust, respect, and loads more.

Fortunately for me, I found (at least) one.

Along the way, I thought I has a few.
But things happen, and change my perspectives.

There are some who pretend that they do understand.
But at the end of the day, twist your meanings.
I wonder, at times, is it meant as jokes that can be lightly brushed aside, or behind the light-hearted words, are deeper insinuations.
& such is why I get irritated & exasperated.

Sometimes, I beg to scream: Do you necessarily understand my concerns?
I doubt so.

Sigh.

.


Today, I saw her in school.
We both pretended that we didn't see each other.
(Former chunk of rant was not involving her.)

Sometimes, you shouldn't let your worries and concerns on to others.
Next minute you know, you're a baby in their eyes, who's too paranoid of events happening in the world.

They may not mean it so.
But it still sucks.


.

Out studying w girls today!
Yix, Lij, G & Rach!
♥

.

Sometimes, I feel the need to expose your evil deeds.
But by doing so, I'm equally evil.

But it's overwhelming, having to carry your secrets around, when I have no obligations to.
& secrets which I am disgusted by.

Moreover, at the end of the day, you might again point your fingers at me, & claim that I spread tales of you.

Truth to be told, I feel extremely unfair to have to burden your shames.
& shames which I accidentally uncover.

Tell me, what do I owe you to have to be subjected to such stupid and ludicrous lies?

Dear Cambridge, does it pleases you THAT MUCH when caadidates leave the exam venue either:
(i) cursing you ; or
(ii) feeling depressed?

.

NAP for FIVE hours.
Not 1, not 2, but 5!

Pathetic Patrina (alliteration!!) & I went to ITE to have lunch.
We originally planned to study, but unceremoniously crashed onto the table and slept for at least 30 minutes before deciding that we should just return home.
(Y)

I hope that none thought we're weird.
Hahahaha, but I mean, imagine you're a student there, and walk past seeing 2 freaks lying opposite each other on the table.
:/


Look at what exams do to us.

.


Imma studying with beloved Yix tomorrrooooowww!



I wonder, what does fate have in store for me.

Cute friends I have.
One forces me to have an English name & hence calls me Dino now.
(When I complain it's too man, it became Dinolyn.)

Another voluntarily wants to be Tryanno.
Why, you ask?

Because T-Rex is Tryannosaurus to her & not Tyrannosaurus.
& tyrant hence became tryant.
(Y).


.


ZOOOOOOM ZOOOOOOM ZOOOOM PAST.
A levels is wasting my life away.
Sigh.

I dreamed that I got Bs for both Biology and Math.
Or was it Chem & Math?
Can't really remember. ~

But it was rather nonsensical, 'cause out of 5 grades, the other 3 were blank.

Malemalehom, please don't let my dream become the truth!

I feel rather pensive currently, not that there's any reason that I should be feeling this way.
Perhaps as what some say, I just think to much for my own good.

.

You know, sometimes I get very exasperated with how the world function.
Don't worry, I'm not the angsty girl who raves and rants at every single little thing that does not go her way, though there are always the occasional whinings.

What I really am perplexed about is the contrast between the actual and perceived image of a person.
Why do people strive so hard to be someone they're not, or rather hide their true selves?

Sometimes, I want to offer benefits of doubt to a person, e.g. perhaps she didn't know what she was doing, etc.
But when it is obvious that she hides what she has been doing behind your back deliberately - sins of omissions, it means that she actually understands the moral complexities behind the issue.

Yet, she does it.
Again and again.

It's fine.
(Of course it isn't but the main point of this entry is not about morality.)


I get an unbalance feeling when the world believes her projected image.
It feels as though I am living life wrongly.

No, I do not want her life.
I do not want to live a facade, I do not want people to think I'm pure, innocent, sweet and blur when I'm actually downright scheming and manipulative.
(Not that I am.)

It's just that I don't understand, how someone can put in so much effort to cover up her ugliness (not the physical assets la~), & to tone up her physique than to simply change her shameful character (since she feels the need to conceal it yea?).


& how the world is so stupid to be taken in by it.
Okay, for a moment I was gullible too so I can't really blame and scorn at the world.

But I was just thinking & reflecting at how ridiculous some things in life are.

.

Enough of this nonsense. ~

Was supposed to study today.
After nua-ing around, Pat & I headed to BPP for dinner.

Dimsum + Cartel's cake shared between us makes me a happy girl!
& we talked & talked & talked for 3 hours.
(Y)

What happened to studying, I wonder?

Funny how you can talk to someone for so long still despite seeing her almost everyday.

.

Any wrong turns you take on the way, is just preparation for the final right one.
Either to wake yourself up or to dispel any preconceived misconceptions.
At least, that's what I think.

.


Sometimes, do you want it because of it.
Or do you merely want it because it's classified as such?
- My ocassional doubts of mine & people's view on love.

Today is a happy day.
& finally met up w Z and had a good long chat with him & Pat.

.

I realised, that coincidences happened.
How I managed to teach some how to do and approach certain math question, & I end up getting them wrong in the end.

Of course I'll be irritated (not with the people though).

But to receive WenQi's (classmate!) sms telling me how grateful she was for helping her in the morning hence she got one little part right, while I carelessly got it wrong, was worth it.

A few marks gone to someone I care, shouldn't matter.
(:

.

Sometimes, it's disgusting and frightening how a scheming liar someone can be.

.

I'm very touched by my mom for being so supportive of me during the A levels.
(I type until I feel like crying. :/)

She cooked for me before my Chemistry paper.
You see, she usually listens to the radio while doing it.
She adjusted it to a minimum level to not disturb me.

She ironed my uniform yesterday night and today night, 'cause after returning home yesterday, I told her I was very ultimately exhausted.
& left a note telling me my uniform was ironed.

When I came home yesterday, inquiring whether there's soup to drink, she gave me her bowl, 'cause it was the last bowl left.

It may appear very irrelevant and stuff, but I just need to note it down.
This is evidence of my mom loving me, through actions and not words.

& a reminder to myself, to stop being an asshole to her next time.

I love you mommy, though I know I'll never say it to you face to face.
But just wanted to say it.

.


Stress amplifies emotions I feel by ten-fold.
GRAH.

NGUANHAN IS MAKING ME VERY DEPRESSED NOW.
):

While I whine that it's very taxing on the individual, I'm breathing a huge sigh of relief that the exam marathon for the day is over.
But I felt rather lost after the announcement to put my pen down.

"WHAT? I STUDIED SO DAMN BLOODY HARD & I WON'T EVERY USE THESE KNOWLEDGE ACQUIRED AGAIN?"

"Should I take lifescience in university?"

Such were the few thoughts running through my head when the clock struck 4pm.

5'TATAAAA3'; 5'GGAGG3'; 5'AAUAAA3'; 5'TTAGGG3'; 5'TATAAT3'; glycine-X-Y; tropocollagen.
WTF.

& it doesn't really help that I only completed the syllabus mere days before the paper.
It's not an exaggeration.

I mean, yes I only have myself to blame for being the lazy asshole, & the irreponsible acts as a student.
But no one really know the exhileration when I completed the syllabus.

*hope with me.

.


Thank you kind souls who attempted to warn me of the hacking which took place in my neighbourhood recently.
I am gratified by the concern, & truly touched.
Because I know my life's worth something to you.

The weird stares I get when I tell peope it's actually fate if I truly die gladdens me.


.


I suddenly feel like writing many many many stuffs, with an array of jumbled thoughts running through.
Aye, it's sleepy time.

*LOUD AND IRRITATING YAWN.

Someone ought to kill that person who's responsible for this stupid A Levels schedule.

Fact: Biology students practically sit for 3 papers from 8 am to 4 pm.

Opinion: Frickkin' unfair.

Inner voice: When's life ever fair?

Need to expend some nervous energy!!

Top 5 random things about me right now:

1. I floss my teeth after every meal, if possible.


2. I feel very weird when people type my name out while addressing me.
   (I think I mentioned this before. Like on msn, I don't like people going "jiale..."


3. Am easily touched, but don't easily show. Actually, this applies for every other emotion in the world. Aside from indignance, and anger, which I am sometimes too quick to show.


4. Think that if I don' do well for A levels, I will find an alternative road.
   It's a definitive, not a possibility.


5. Foresee myself becoming owner of a quaint little shop after a few years in the rat race.

I wanted to do 10, but realise, nothing much to say la!
Go study go study~

Number of post is directly proportional to the myraid of emotions I feel.
Thus THIRD post in the day.

(Despite the rant in the previous post I'm rather panicky.
I hope insomnia DO NOT strike.)

Anyway, this goes out to a lovely girl who studies w me practically everyday.

I love you a lot.
& thanks for being a great studying partner.
We all have our lil' quirks here and there, but tolerance when we both get stressed up and short of fuse really reaffirms your position in my heart.

(Just like how HuiShan is to me, because of the canoeing journey.)

Cheers to a friendship since primary 6; which I think many deem it cool! ;)

[Heh, I know we don't do affectionate stuff & icks messages, but still, once in a while eh!]

Apologies to you for any bad attitudes, and being quick-tempered at certain times.
Very relieved that I didn't lost my temper w you.
Thanks for the mutual tolerance, and moments.

Jiayou, because not once do I doubt you.

.

& to all out there deserving of my love, all the best & jiayou.

.

I think through such processes it's easy to see who's less selfish than others.
Who thinks of you & not exploit you, or simply find you convenient.
Who study with you out of friendship, & not of benefits.

I'm truly touched by souls out there in the category who places me above their own studies.
Thanks.

I am just gonna sucked it all in.
A while more a while more awhile more.


I am really so frickkin' tired that I just hope this fly by without much more trauma.
It gets so sick that even though you know you will gain more knowledge in a few more days, that you don't even want it.
You just want to be over and done w this hellhole.

This, is what education in Singapore is like.
It's irrational and beyond logic.

How much of us enjoy it?
Seriously, it's getting a tad (& more) ludicrous.

How much will we apply this in future?
Yet this determines our future.

A paradox that happening real time, in all our lives.

Seriously.
Creativism is totally stifled by this system.
BAH.

Hello people, I discovered something very very very DISTURBING.

You can get AIDS just by going to the dentist!

This is seriously a WTF matter.
I mean, what has the victim done?
Nothing, just perhaps never brush his/her teeth properly.

Or perhaps, it's the stupid effects of evolution -
i) spreading of AIDS to other populations when it was actually contained within a small isolated population (due to globalisation - increased travel,etc + promiscuity)
ii) Wisdom tooth becoming vestigial structure which has to be plucked away.


But really, I blame it on dentists who DO NOT sterilise their equipment.
Not only is it gross, and can spread viruses that cause flu, and bacteria, NOW AIDS.


& I mean these individuals are really susceptible.

E.g. An individual who has an active sex life might go for a HIV test
regularly (if he/she is concerned w the possibility, that is), and may thus prevent onset of AIDS.

But here the victim is, who is not even exposed to sex.
YOU TELL ME WHO IN THE RIGHT BRAIN WILL GO FOR HIV CHECK???

& now AIDS.

WALAO.

Sad ttm.

The stupid dentist suck.
He/she just successfully ruin someone's life.

.

Today is ♥.

.

Note to self:
Do not return unreasonable anger w similar anger.
Tolerance.
Albeit feeling exasperated w logic.
Or rather, double standards.

(Think I won't be able to do it. Maybe I should try meditation after As.
Ommmmmmm~~~~~)
.

Will someone teach me how to tell someone you loved that you absolutely insist that you're right?
& to tell this person, you love him/her, despite everything.

& to make sense and reason rule even when there's 0% logic now?

.

To tell you that I still spared a thought for you when things are this way.
But, somehow, I doubt you'll ever be as happy as other times when it involved the specific person & not me.

Again, I ask.
What is it I am lacking?

To Pat, I think what I lack is a P_ _ _ _.
Just like the situation w you. ):
HMPH.


.


I don't know la.
What you wanted, I gave.
What we wanted, I automatically thought of you so as to not make you feel excluded.

What's wrong?

Why must it be you?

I understand priorities in life; me&her both understand.
We even know your priorities yet didn't minded.

But when it really happen this way, this particular way, I don't know what to say.

I recalled certain advices of yours to me, when I was down.
& I just want to scream.

It's true; we all are logical and rational when it doesn't involve us.
Or rather when it doesn't involve us and secrets we safeguard.

I had thought we had stable friendships that would not have hiccups.

.

Maybe it's just so unimportant that I'm foolish to be even mentioning this.

.

I was just Delusional.

Frickkin' tired.


BAH.
Stress is getting to me.
& bye bye diet.

):


I'm genuinely getting a little tired
& a little short of fuse recently.

Doesn't help that after 9pm, there's no warmth to be seen.

Perhaps it the demons of past back to haunt me.
When I was young I had excuses.
When I grew up I had habits.
When I became sensible, I had inertia.

& now at this moment, I have an urge.
To just up and go.
Because, it's pointless.

But not yet financially independent.

Okk, stop being emo-momo.
Sigh x 1oooo.

Sometimes I think I deserve it too.
But there's no restart nor refresh buttons.
I expended them.

Feel very helpless now.
):

Regarding everything, not just studies.
How.

Who's there to save me.


.


Again, I keep thinking of that incident that took place in WRL.
Do I need a faith?

.

I need miracles in life.

.

& the salty droplets just spillover & run down.
Just a stress management mechanism. Newer Posts

tohjiale
22/12/92
jiale22@hotmail.com
HCanoe
red;orange;yellow

Hi, I've JUST rejected a job at the Inland Revenue Authority of Singapore (IRAS), and might be rejecting more.

I really want the Autistic internship.

Man, the opportunity costs incurred!
Sigh, I hope it's well worth it!

.

On a side note, prom-shopping is over and done with!
(:
(Went gai gai w G, Lij & Rach!)

& I'm a carefree girl now.

(Don't remind me that technically my A Levels has yet to be over.)


.

Teeheehee, had dinner w nana & lulu!
;)

.

DO YOU KNOW?
(I don't know from when,)

But, the word convoluted has always been spelled convulated to me!
Major big difference, baby!

Top 10 books/series I shall (re-)read: (in no order)

1. Harry Potter - J K Rowling

Never read a single word from any of the 7 books. (Y)

I don't care if you expect Daniel Radcliffe, one should always celebrate her beauty! Hehehehe!



2. Life of Pi - Yann Martel



3. Atonement - Ian McEwan



4. Schooling - Heather McGowan



5. The Reader - Bernhard Schlink

I MUST READ THIS: it's about the difficulties which subsequent generations have in comprehending the Holocaust.

I wanna watch the movie tooooo! Kate Winslet is pretty too! Hahaha, I'm so pervy.



6. Jane Austen's works

Holding on the Mansfield Park for the moment!



7. Aldous Huxley's works

Brave New World is a must read, people!



8. H.G. Well's works



9. A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket & Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography

This is a re-read for me; pardon me for re-living me childhood.
But anyway, who else besides me think that Snicket seems odd?
Like, real odd!

Apparently Wikipedia save the day. (yet again)
Snicket is both the author's pen name, and a character in the book.
(Don't ask me how one's brain can get so utterly convoluted.)




10. Works of the Brontë sisters : Charlotte, Emily & Anne

Heeheee, somehow, I doubt all the time till University will be enough for me.
But will, with great dreams come great achievements. (I hope.)

& Don't worry, I'm not turning into some big nerd.
Frivolous books are always welcome, since some of the above mentioned books will no doubt put me to sleep.
(It isn't supposed to, but well....)
Heh, sorry for the lack of update!
I was totally off techno-stuff for like 2 days!





.


My sleep routine is not very good recently, being unable to wake up very early.
My my, do remind me that BioP1 is a 8am paper.
Shucks.

.


Anyway!
I spent the last 2 days finishing up 3 books (evidently not A levels related)!
& this makes me very happy.

WAHAHAHAHA.
How long is it since I properly read without feeling guilt/falling asleep?


.

Meeting G & Lij later to study & shop.
(Or rather I'm late meeting them! Hahaha)

.
Hehehehehehehehe!
At TingYan's house to Mahjong overnight!
(With STUPID JAYKEN WHO IS LATE, & Lester.)

WIN $$, WIN $$!
Heheheheheh!


.

Went for Youth for Autism interview yesterday; it lasted for 30 minutes.
Pray for me aye?

I REALLY WANT IT SO BADLY 'cause autism has always been an interest area for me.
& I'm actually contemplating becoming a Special Education teacher.

Sigh, I really hope I'll get in!
;)


.

I want to watch Walking with Dinosaurs.
It's very expensive.
Sigh, I'm gonna consider x 1ooooooooo.
:(
Conversations with the charming brother:

Bro: Eh, you got cute shampoo? I got cute body foam and cute facial wash.
(By cute he means those small and convenient packs; & he proceeded on to demonstrate by showing me.)
Me: No ley. But I got cute person. *points to self & GRINS*

*Bro walks off*

.

Bro: Eh, how do I transport the 2 balls ah? My bag only has room for one.
(He borrowed both of my volleyballs.)
Me: *Pulls at my t-shirt and pats the stomach* Hee.

*Bro walks off* x 2.


.


I think I am ingrained w the ability to exasperate people.
(Y)


.


You may think me weird, noting down such small little incidents, but I believe that it's small gestures along the way that build the foundation for most relationships.
Out with Patrina & TingYan.
Gosh, it's been ages since I've properly went out with Ting.
♥!
We went to sit, talked & eat at the CoffeeClub at RafflesCity.
(The food's so not worth the price.)

Taken using the almighty iPhone4 (of TingYan)!




Heeeheeee!

.


I'm shortlisted for the Youth for Autistic programme.
& Yijia tooooo!

I'm over the moon!
I genuinely thought that they rejected us both!

Pray for me tomorrow!
;)
Today's the 19th death anniversary of Freddie Mercury.

Can I tell you how much I love his works?
CAN I?

♥♥♥ x 1ooooooo!

Saw this on Twitter:
Dear God: Give Freddie Mercury back and we'll give you Justin Bieber.

Hell, yeah!
HAHAHHAHAAHAH!

In a rush to meet LOVERLY PAT. I WILL UPDATE SOOOOOOOON!!! :D

♥ FREDDIE MERCURY.





And, I had Ajisen ramen yesterday.
Once again I awoke to horrible stomachache & diarrhea.
Wth is wrong with my digestive system!


.

Okay, I am really slacking like siao recently.
Million apologies to Bio.

.


OH MAN, I FEEL ANOTHER BOUT OF DIARRHEA COMING.
HATE THIS.

(But thankfully this didn't happen during 'A's.)
Large topic I'm gonna rant about today.

Adoption.

A few years back, I had this goal in mind - for every one kid I give birth to, I adopt one.
(I recalled mentioning it in just-15.bs.com)

I figured that life's about experiencing, & since childbirth appears to be a great leap to maternity for many, why not?
Yet, there's this nagging thought that since there's so many orphans in the world, why create more children when you can actually feed and provide for the ones already in the world.

These are children who are helpless with regard to their lots in life.
They have not done anything at all to land themselves in such plight.
Children who did not have a choice, unlike you and I, in the life they could lead.

While many of us are pondering which university course to take, which university to enter, or which country to embark our academic pursues in, they have ABSOLUTE no choice at all.

No, I am not implying that we do not deserve all that we have; our parents tolled hard to allow us these choices.

But, you must understand, I insist that no children deserve any less just based on birthrights.

& to me, I see no difference in children simply based on race, or genes.
Other differences, to me, are merely accumulated through their childhood.

So, does it really matter that your child developed from the division of a zygote which is a fusion of YOU and YOUR SPOUSES' gametes?

It matters?
I think not.

I agree, nature affects. But nurture too.
& it's not as though we are in complete control of the complete genetic make up of the kid after all right?

So tell me, why does it matter so much?

Does inheritance of 50% of your chromosomes, hence part of your "blood" renders it your child?
Is biological relationship so superior and almighty?

I can't understand the resounding "No"s I get from people when adoption is mentioned.

When you can jolly well provide for a young one, why must it be someone you specially pro-created?
Why not give this opportunity to someone, who will DEFINITELY be deprived of this chance?

I am really indignant about this!

.

On another note, someone told me that adoption would only be a choice if he/she was infertile.

Wait a minute there.

What caused the change of attitude towards adoption?

It's actually extremely selfish in a way.

You want a child.
If fertile, who cares for orphans?
But now, oooh, infertile - Hey, adoption seems appropriate now!

That's frickkin' self-serving and downright convenient, no?!

He/she is totally not thinking/considering the interest of this young one, but only cater to his need just when it neatly coincide with theirs!

That's not how it is!

While you are happily living life, they're still be deprived of a proper one, no?

One is merely using them as tools to fulfill their desire to become parents, no?

Sigh.

.


I am not agreeing that all should adopt children as mindsets of people are just not apt!
But what I am questioning is the deeply ingrained sentiment that is so against adoption. (which can conveniently change upon news of infertility.)

Explanation, people?

.
A spike in readership yesterday (i.e 23 Nov).
I wonder whether there is a strong linear correlation between pseudo-freedom and people using the computer.

Heh, enough of nerd language!

.


FREEDOM IS SWEEEEEEET.

Teehee~


.


Went to town w deborah, fly, jia, xiuhui & xuan!
(We just ate & talked, as usual.)

Heh, wanted to go somewhere nearer so I can go home early to run.
(I am so gonna adopt back my fitter body.)


FAIL. x 1oooo.
Nevermind, I made plans to run w Rach alr.


& that's pretty what my first step towards freedom entails.

.
I should be studying Econs.
But again, I should too be doing things I think is worthwhile.

This pretty much sums up the biggest insight I gain from As.
(I think.)
Very proud of myself today.
Utterly proud!
:D

For one more day!
(Book by Mitch Albom, but apt title for the day!)

WOOHOO.
Gosh, can't not do a post; I feel obligated to my blog!
LOLLL.


A Levels finally gonna be over soon.
(Yes, I am conveniently ignoring BioP1 on 02Dec.)

I'm glad, I'm glad.
I'm really rather out of my mind from studying!

But now that it's goona be over, I'm a little lost as to what to do.
I sound crazy.
.

Off to read Bio!

.

MUAY THAI, ANYONE? :D
I don't feel like posting today!
So I shall do 5 random facts again.
Hahahahahha!

1. I don't like it when drivers are very impatient when you're crossing the road.
   & hence decide to make a turn IMMEDIATELY after you passed them!
   It's very nerve-wrecking and downright RUDE!


2. Don't like cyclists speeding past me after I give way to you.
   Very rude also!!! :(


3. For the first time in my life, I am genuinely hating someone. I really hate you for being so disgusting, desperate and fake.


4. Currently thinks that most guys are born with brain, but underutilise them when it comes to relationships.
   (While some girls over utilise theirs, to either become (i)frickkin' scheming or (ii)over-emotional.)


5. Will sponsor kids in other countries, if I ever become rich because it soothes my own conscience by knowing that I am alleviating situations of children suffering fates not of their doing.
   (Indeed, in a way, it's self-maintaining as it's soothing MY conscience.)

Never fight in front of your kids.
And never ever ask them to take sides.

Don't tell me I'm 18.
Don't tell me I ought to know how to judge.

I merely know I'm your kid.
Both of your kid.

& there's no right/wrong when it's so personal.

Why must everyone end up crying?
Why.

.

I will not marry unless I'm frickkin' certain.
Friends.

It's indeed rare to find individuals who accept your opinions on events, even those involving themselves - especially criticisms.
They may not need to agree since the point is actually to merely accept.

& at this very minute, my definition of friendship has taken another leap.

Best friends are something I've long grown out for.
I mean, I see no point in classifying a "best"; it serves only to break hearts of others equally important but yet carelessly neglected.

(& partly, I don't believe that someone can be there for you all the time.)

Good friends are something I cling on to.
& the new insight mentioned, is simply the line between slight superficiality & candidness between friends.

The level of closeness, to me, is proportional to the amount of truth you can tell this person.
Truth regarding yourself, and regarding her.


When you find that you need to hide some truth from her, there's something wrong.
No?

I understand everybody holds something above friends.
For some, it's studies.
Others, love.
Me?
My principles.

But to have someone who can genuinely accept well-meant opinions regarding their weakness from another, imo, is sign of trust, respect, and loads more.

Fortunately for me, I found (at least) one.

Along the way, I thought I has a few.
But things happen, and change my perspectives.

There are some who pretend that they do understand.
But at the end of the day, twist your meanings.
I wonder, at times, is it meant as jokes that can be lightly brushed aside, or behind the light-hearted words, are deeper insinuations.
& such is why I get irritated & exasperated.

Sometimes, I beg to scream: Do you necessarily understand my concerns?
I doubt so.

Sigh.

.


Today, I saw her in school.
We both pretended that we didn't see each other.
(Former chunk of rant was not involving her.)
Sometimes, you shouldn't let your worries and concerns on to others.
Next minute you know, you're a baby in their eyes, who's too paranoid of events happening in the world.

They may not mean it so.
But it still sucks.


.
Out studying w girls today!
Yix, Lij, G & Rach!
♥

.

Sometimes, I feel the need to expose your evil deeds.
But by doing so, I'm equally evil.

But it's overwhelming, having to carry your secrets around, when I have no obligations to.
& secrets which I am disgusted by.

Moreover, at the end of the day, you might again point your fingers at me, & claim that I spread tales of you.

Truth to be told, I feel extremely unfair to have to burden your shames.
& shames which I accidentally uncover.

Tell me, what do I owe you to have to be subjected to such stupid and ludicrous lies?
Dear Cambridge, does it pleases you THAT MUCH when caadidates leave the exam venue either:
(i) cursing you ; or
(ii) feeling depressed?

.

NAP for FIVE hours.
Not 1, not 2, but 5!

Pathetic Patrina (alliteration!!) & I went to ITE to have lunch.
We originally planned to study, but unceremoniously crashed onto the table and slept for at least 30 minutes before deciding that we should just return home.
(Y)

I hope that none thought we're weird.
Hahahaha, but I mean, imagine you're a student there, and walk past seeing 2 freaks lying opposite each other on the table.
:/


Look at what exams do to us.

.


Imma studying with beloved Yix tomorrrooooowww!


I wonder, what does fate have in store for me.
Cute friends I have.
One forces me to have an English name & hence calls me Dino now.
(When I complain it's too man, it became Dinolyn.)

Another voluntarily wants to be Tryanno.
Why, you ask?

Because T-Rex is Tryannosaurus to her & not Tyrannosaurus.
& tyrant hence became tryant.
(Y).


.


ZOOOOOOM ZOOOOOOM ZOOOOM PAST.
A levels is wasting my life away.
Sigh.
I dreamed that I got Bs for both Biology and Math.
Or was it Chem & Math?
Can't really remember. ~

But it was rather nonsensical, 'cause out of 5 grades, the other 3 were blank.

Malemalehom, please don't let my dream become the truth!
I feel rather pensive currently, not that there's any reason that I should be feeling this way.
Perhaps as what some say, I just think to much for my own good.

.

You know, sometimes I get very exasperated with how the world function.
Don't worry, I'm not the angsty girl who raves and rants at every single little thing that does not go her way, though there are always the occasional whinings.

What I really am perplexed about is the contrast between the actual and perceived image of a person.
Why do people strive so hard to be someone they're not, or rather hide their true selves?

Sometimes, I want to offer benefits of doubt to a person, e.g. perhaps she didn't know what she was doing, etc.
But when it is obvious that she hides what she has been doing behind your back deliberately - sins of omissions, it means that she actually understands the moral complexities behind the issue.

Yet, she does it.
Again and again.

It's fine.
(Of course it isn't but the main point of this entry is not about morality.)


I get an unbalance feeling when the world believes her projected image.
It feels as though I am living life wrongly.

No, I do not want her life.
I do not want to live a facade, I do not want people to think I'm pure, innocent, sweet and blur when I'm actually downright scheming and manipulative.
(Not that I am.)

It's just that I don't understand, how someone can put in so much effort to cover up her ugliness (not the physical assets la~), & to tone up her physique than to simply change her shameful character (since she feels the need to conceal it yea?).


& how the world is so stupid to be taken in by it.
Okay, for a moment I was gullible too so I can't really blame and scorn at the world.

But I was just thinking & reflecting at how ridiculous some things in life are.

.

Enough of this nonsense. ~
Was supposed to study today.
After nua-ing around, Pat & I headed to BPP for dinner.

Dimsum + Cartel's cake shared between us makes me a happy girl!
& we talked & talked & talked for 3 hours.
(Y)

What happened to studying, I wonder?

Funny how you can talk to someone for so long still despite seeing her almost everyday.

.

Any wrong turns you take on the way, is just preparation for the final right one.
Either to wake yourself up or to dispel any preconceived misconceptions.
At least, that's what I think.

.


Sometimes, do you want it because of it.
Or do you merely want it because it's classified as such?
- My ocassional doubts of mine & people's view on love.
Today is a happy day.
& finally met up w Z and had a good long chat with him & Pat.

.

I realised, that coincidences happened.
How I managed to teach some how to do and approach certain math question, & I end up getting them wrong in the end.

Of course I'll be irritated (not with the people though).

But to receive WenQi's (classmate!) sms telling me how grateful she was for helping her in the morning hence she got one little part right, while I carelessly got it wrong, was worth it.

A few marks gone to someone I care, shouldn't matter.
(:

.

Sometimes, it's disgusting and frightening how a scheming liar someone can be.

.
I'm very touched by my mom for being so supportive of me during the A levels.
(I type until I feel like crying. :/)

She cooked for me before my Chemistry paper.
You see, she usually listens to the radio while doing it.
She adjusted it to a minimum level to not disturb me.

She ironed my uniform yesterday night and today night, 'cause after returning home yesterday, I told her I was very ultimately exhausted.
& left a note telling me my uniform was ironed.

When I came home yesterday, inquiring whether there's soup to drink, she gave me her bowl, 'cause it was the last bowl left.

It may appear very irrelevant and stuff, but I just need to note it down.
This is evidence of my mom loving me, through actions and not words.

& a reminder to myself, to stop being an asshole to her next time.

I love you mommy, though I know I'll never say it to you face to face.
But just wanted to say it.

.


Stress amplifies emotions I feel by ten-fold.
GRAH.
NGUANHAN IS MAKING ME VERY DEPRESSED NOW.
):
While I whine that it's very taxing on the individual, I'm breathing a huge sigh of relief that the exam marathon for the day is over.
But I felt rather lost after the announcement to put my pen down.

"WHAT? I STUDIED SO DAMN BLOODY HARD & I WON'T EVERY USE THESE KNOWLEDGE ACQUIRED AGAIN?"

"Should I take lifescience in university?"

Such were the few thoughts running through my head when the clock struck 4pm.

5'TATAAAA3'; 5'GGAGG3'; 5'AAUAAA3'; 5'TTAGGG3'; 5'TATAAT3'; glycine-X-Y; tropocollagen.
WTF.

& it doesn't really help that I only completed the syllabus mere days before the paper.
It's not an exaggeration.

I mean, yes I only have myself to blame for being the lazy asshole, & the irreponsible acts as a student.
But no one really know the exhileration when I completed the syllabus.

*hope with me.

.


Thank you kind souls who attempted to warn me of the hacking which took place in my neighbourhood recently.
I am gratified by the concern, & truly touched.
Because I know my life's worth something to you.

The weird stares I get when I tell peope it's actually fate if I truly die gladdens me.


.


I suddenly feel like writing many many many stuffs, with an array of jumbled thoughts running through.
Aye, it's sleepy time.

*LOUD AND IRRITATING YAWN.
Someone ought to kill that person who's responsible for this stupid A Levels schedule.

Fact: Biology students practically sit for 3 papers from 8 am to 4 pm.

Opinion: Frickkin' unfair.

Inner voice: When's life ever fair?
Need to expend some nervous energy!!

Top 5 random things about me right now:

1. I floss my teeth after every meal, if possible.


2. I feel very weird when people type my name out while addressing me.
   (I think I mentioned this before. Like on msn, I don't like people going "jiale..."


3. Am easily touched, but don't easily show. Actually, this applies for every other emotion in the world. Aside from indignance, and anger, which I am sometimes too quick to show.


4. Think that if I don' do well for A levels, I will find an alternative road.
   It's a definitive, not a possibility.


5. Foresee myself becoming owner of a quaint little shop after a few years in the rat race.

I wanted to do 10, but realise, nothing much to say la!
Go study go study~
Number of post is directly proportional to the myraid of emotions I feel.
Thus THIRD post in the day.

(Despite the rant in the previous post I'm rather panicky.
I hope insomnia DO NOT strike.)

Anyway, this goes out to a lovely girl who studies w me practically everyday.

I love you a lot.
& thanks for being a great studying partner.
We all have our lil' quirks here and there, but tolerance when we both get stressed up and short of fuse really reaffirms your position in my heart.

(Just like how HuiShan is to me, because of the canoeing journey.)

Cheers to a friendship since primary 6; which I think many deem it cool! ;)

[Heh, I know we don't do affectionate stuff & icks messages, but still, once in a while eh!]

Apologies to you for any bad attitudes, and being quick-tempered at certain times.
Very relieved that I didn't lost my temper w you.
Thanks for the mutual tolerance, and moments.

Jiayou, because not once do I doubt you.

.

& to all out there deserving of my love, all the best & jiayou.

.

I think through such processes it's easy to see who's less selfish than others.
Who thinks of you & not exploit you, or simply find you convenient.
Who study with you out of friendship, & not of benefits.

I'm truly touched by souls out there in the category who places me above their own studies.
Thanks.
I am just gonna sucked it all in.
A while more a while more awhile more.


I am really so frickkin' tired that I just hope this fly by without much more trauma.
It gets so sick that even though you know you will gain more knowledge in a few more days, that you don't even want it.
You just want to be over and done w this hellhole.

This, is what education in Singapore is like.
It's irrational and beyond logic.

How much of us enjoy it?
Seriously, it's getting a tad (& more) ludicrous.

How much will we apply this in future?
Yet this determines our future.

A paradox that happening real time, in all our lives.

Seriously.
Creativism is totally stifled by this system.
BAH.
Hello people, I discovered something very very very DISTURBING.

You can get AIDS just by going to the dentist!

This is seriously a WTF matter.
I mean, what has the victim done?
Nothing, just perhaps never brush his/her teeth properly.

Or perhaps, it's the stupid effects of evolution -
i) spreading of AIDS to other populations when it was actually contained within a small isolated population (due to globalisation - increased travel,etc + promiscuity)
ii) Wisdom tooth becoming vestigial structure which has to be plucked away.


But really, I blame it on dentists who DO NOT sterilise their equipment.
Not only is it gross, and can spread viruses that cause flu, and bacteria, NOW AIDS.


& I mean these individuals are really susceptible.

E.g. An individual who has an active sex life might go for a HIV test
regularly (if he/she is concerned w the possibility, that is), and may thus prevent onset of AIDS.

But here the victim is, who is not even exposed to sex.
YOU TELL ME WHO IN THE RIGHT BRAIN WILL GO FOR HIV CHECK???

& now AIDS.

WALAO.

Sad ttm.

The stupid dentist suck.
He/she just successfully ruin someone's life.

.
Today is ♥.

.

Note to self:
Do not return unreasonable anger w similar anger.
Tolerance.
Albeit feeling exasperated w logic.
Or rather, double standards.

(Think I won't be able to do it. Maybe I should try meditation after As.
Ommmmmmm~~~~~)
.
Will someone teach me how to tell someone you loved that you absolutely insist that you're right?
& to tell this person, you love him/her, despite everything.

& to make sense and reason rule even when there's 0% logic now?

.

To tell you that I still spared a thought for you when things are this way.
But, somehow, I doubt you'll ever be as happy as other times when it involved the specific person & not me.

Again, I ask.
What is it I am lacking?

To Pat, I think what I lack is a P_ _ _ _.
Just like the situation w you. ):
HMPH.


.


I don't know la.
What you wanted, I gave.
What we wanted, I automatically thought of you so as to not make you feel excluded.

What's wrong?
Why must it be you?

I understand priorities in life; me&her both understand.
We even know your priorities yet didn't minded.

But when it really happen this way, this particular way, I don't know what to say.

I recalled certain advices of yours to me, when I was down.
& I just want to scream.

It's true; we all are logical and rational when it doesn't involve us.
Or rather when it doesn't involve us and secrets we safeguard.

I had thought we had stable friendships that would not have hiccups.

.

Maybe it's just so unimportant that I'm foolish to be even mentioning this.

.

I was just Delusional.
Frickkin' tired.


BAH.
Stress is getting to me.
& bye bye diet.

):


I'm genuinely getting a little tired
& a little short of fuse recently.

Doesn't help that after 9pm, there's no warmth to be seen.

Perhaps it the demons of past back to haunt me.
When I was young I had excuses.
When I grew up I had habits.
When I became sensible, I had inertia.

& now at this moment, I have an urge.
To just up and go.
Because, it's pointless.

But not yet financially independent.

Okk, stop being emo-momo.
Sigh x 1oooo.

Sometimes I think I deserve it too.
But there's no restart nor refresh buttons.
I expended them.

Feel very helpless now.
):

Regarding everything, not just studies.
How.

Who's there to save me.


.


Again, I keep thinking of that incident that took place in WRL.
Do I need a faith?

.

I need miracles in life.

.

& the salty droplets just spillover & run down.
Just a stress management mechanism. Newer Posts

By post:

1. Chapter 258:
2. Chapter 256:
3. Chapter 255:
4. Chapter 254:
5. Chapter 253:
6. Chapter 252:
7. Chapter 251:
8. Chapter 250:
9. Chapter 249:
10. Chapter 248:

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