Saturday, January 22, 2011
Chapter 201:
at 21:21
Please refer to the chapter number of this post:
It's an important number to me, because it's one of the classes that really made me who I am today.
In this memorable class, I met:
- People who stuck by me till this day & are always so wonderfully sweet to me - TingYan, ZhengWei, WeiLun, etc.
- Someone whom I really couldn't imagine being important, yet have become such an integrated role in my life - YiJia.
- Someone whom I sometimes refuse to acknowledge, but have indeed taught me a lot.
Thank you for bearing with my nonsense during my most irrational years of my life.
I haven't always been this nice, what more with me already not being one of the nicest souls on Earth currently.
Thank you for the umpteen chances and the magnitude of tolerance & love y'all shown me.
It's ♥.
Thank you for making my life in HwaChong so much smoother.
Thank you for being the one who stood by me during the initial months of HwaChong, when I really thought I would haven been broken, with the main point being - you are totally not obliged to.
Sometimes, I am still unsure of whether we're there for each other (inc. Fly & Xuan) for companionship or really because we found people we really like.
So pardon my awkwardness when we haven't met for a while, and at times, my lack of faith.
But, hope will make us strong - I hope.
At times, I would rather do away with all these lessons in life you have ungraciously imposed on me, if that could have spared me the immense agony.
But till now, I still hold on to the idea that you were once sincerely sweet to me.
If I momentarily censor the hurt I feel, I think I do really have some events to thank you for.
Thank you for being the one who played mediator between Pat & I in sec 1.
Thank you for once supporting me.
& other than that, I think I will have to reserve my appreciation, because sometimes, blatant lies & sins of omissions, being glib & being sincere really do confuses me to no end when it comes to you.
And yes, it was in the class that I really learn to stop being a bitch. (while I still can be, but that's besides the point.)
.
Watched ShaoLin w Lulu! ♥
I really appreciate the show a lot for its plot, actors, action and the heart-warming parts of the movie.
Whatever morals that we're supposed to take away from the movie is so far away from me.
How can I let go of materialistic wants went I'm so entrenched in prospects of future careers and lifestyle?
While it's evident that our possessions far surpass and satisfy our needs, it's the wants that limitless, no?
& it's so hard to let it all go.
Truly, I wonder how some are able to do it.
.
When I get stressed (subconsciously), I like watching movies that makes me cry. Because it takes the edge away from me, and prevents me from crying in real life & hence feeling like a loser.
It's amazingly therapeutic for me.
.
& a question that's bothering me - Will I ever find someone who places his/her interests on par with my interests and really be there when I need help?
And can I find someone I am willing to do that for?
I'll tell you in 20 years time.
But recently, my heart got colder & I don't like it.
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