Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Chapter 50:
at 16:29
CHANGE!
Hi, a drastic change is coming.
It needs to come.
I'm gonna stay away from msn & fb & you name it - No more than 30 minutes per day!
(Not here though.)
But I just thought, if you're meant to be in my life, you wouldn't be someone I need to connect through such devices.
You should be one I can ask out to face-to-face, etc.
My dear, what's meant to be, is.
Keep that in mind!
These words are a lil' too close to the heart..
Aside from the decisions which are often regretted part, that is.
Aside from the decisions which are often regretted part, that is.
& yea, I'm gonna stay disciplined 'cause today I'd made a promise to myself, and powers high above, that I'm gonna stay dedicated to my (current) goals in life.
& I'm not allowed to stray!
So point is, I'm just embarking on this journey to rectify all the screw-up(S) I made recently.
Like, becoming more organised and responsible.
& facing consequences of my own doing.
& being brave.
& being accountable to people.
& stop playing w fire.
Yes, these among many.
.
Planned out the schedule till end of August!
It's gonna be one hell of a ride.
.
Deep down, I know, I'm not worth it - not good enough a person yet.
Sometimes, there are times I just can't believe how much I as a being, suck & fail.
& when that happens, I reflect & decide that change is coming.
Please, give me strength to be able to accomplish all I aim to, to be disciplined.
Please, give me courage to face my faults and have the will to correct them.
I need it.
Hell, I'm gonna be 18 so this should be a welcome change.
It's a necessity.
The way I function now is just not right!
(Sorry, not gonna elaborate, these matters are too sensitive and scary to let on.
It's my fears that I'm inadequate, that I fall short of even the most basic qualities, & the many guilts I have.)
I'll let go about all my shortcomings, only after I successfully rectify the faults.
Darling, while it's in your nature to have faith, please act on them else nothing will happen.
.
Gosh, what a 50th post. Newer Posts
