Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Chapter 226:
at 21:30
Copied & paste from my Tumblr:
Saying goodbye nicely & with manners is not easy at all when you have had a history with that certain someone.
I can’t live a life of uncertainty when it comes to relationships/friendships. I need to classify. I need to draw the lines. I think this problem (if you deem it as such) arises ‘cause I treat strangers, acquaintances and friends differently. & that’s why I need clear boundaries to know where I stand, where you stand, & how we should interact. I make myself sound like a social retard, but no - it’s merely how I function.
To me, if you’re not a (close) friend, you’re not worth any exceptional effort to be nice, friendly and spontaneous. I don’t feel a need to respect your views and take them seriously, ‘cause really, who are you? (Unless of course your line of thought is awesome and inspiring.)
The main point being that it’s always so easy to become closer, then less, no? The process of becoming closer is so magical; the journey to getting nearer to someone’s heart and mind which you never had the opportunity to is gradual. There’s no need to affirm that “Hey we’re close, right?” ‘cause you can feel it and see it - phone records, sms conversation, msn, outings, etc.
Yet, contrary to that, drifting apart is painful and there’s always the part of ‘not letting go’ intertwined in it. Isn’t it the reason why couples hang on for so long when love has long withered? & this is the matter at hand which I struggle with.
I can’t bear to say, “Hey, we’re not close, right?” because we share a legacy, a history. We share memories which have the both of us, we shared laughter and jokes, we shared mornings in the canteens, we shared bitch sessions about others. We lent support to each other, we backed each other up.
So, what happens when our faiths and beliefs diverge? What happens when our principles in life differ? What happens when our language of love and frienship changes and no longer can understand each other? What happens next?
We hold on half-heartedly while feeling that the other betrayed/gave up on us. We remain close on the surface with currents passing underneath. & when storm breaks through, we flash our claws and canines, hurting each other. At the end of the day, none of us achieve anything except hurt and regret.
So love(d), I’ll will myself to do the honorable act that you deserve. I’m letting you go, because we’re so set to go different ways. I won’t treat you any lesser when I next meet you (which I think would be soon), nor will I avoid you. Let’s end with no bitter feelings or resentment, and write glorious vibrant chapters on our own. Till next time when fate allow us to coincide once again.
I’ll look foward to that.
If even machines need a cooling off period, I don’t see why we can’t have our own time-off. I can’t say that we’ll definitely patch and mend in the future, but really, I will not build fences to shut off the options. Fences which stems from words meant to cut. ‘Cause simply, nothing can deny that we did enjoy each other’s company.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Chapter 225:
at 10:50
Peace out, I love you, Lim Yian Lu. ♥
Chapter 224:
at 09:21
Hi, playing with tumblr currently.
Find me here.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Chapter 223:
at 23:09
Even I stop visiting my blog so i don't know why you aren't doing the same.
HAHAHAHAH.
Alright, I feel mean now.
(Okay, not really, I just miss the mean part of me, & feel this need to revive it.)
So here goes:
5 things I can think of that irks me:
- Smokers.
- Totally cannot tolerate superficial/false/pretentious people.
- Non-stop sms-ing when out with me. Key: NON-STOP.
- The feeling that I wasted my time.
- Strangers who knock into me without apologising.
Go rot in hell for all I care, just DON'T pull me along with you.
I hate you, and I hate you x 10000 if you happen to be standing in front of me.
& I totally detest it when you overtake me/I am unable to overtake you & hence have to be in your smoke trial and suffer the degradation of my precious lungs.
Don't get how someone changes voice dramatically when speaking to people with authority/people one wishes to please or be in the good books of. Cutesy voices especially gets on my nerve. The overly sweet tone totally grates my nerves and makes me cringe.
This is a off-the-chart WTF event in life. Really, if someone is so much more interesting than me, and you wish to spend time with the person, don't ask me out. It's that simple & I believe anyone with brains can figure it out.
This is of course, added to the fact that you're being a downright rude and ungracious company. & ultimately, it boils down to 1 word - RESPECT.
It's like after a day/period of helping someone do things/accompany them, nothing was achieved. It SUCKS, I tell you. Usually this merely irked me, but when I'm in a state of sleep deprivation coupled to packed schedule, it makes me so angry that I will swear never to waste my time for others again. But somehow, history repeats.
This is interlinked with point 3, since by not dedicating your time & attention to me, it makes me wonder why the hell am I sparing time for you. And of course, your lack of appreciation (since you blatantly ignore my presence and SMS continuously) makes me feel slighted, and a lot more.
Do you not have nerve endings that send impulses to your brain that you have just been in contact with others? Rude, very rude.
& really, the way of getting it out of my system is to TSKED you loudly, and pretend that it's not me. (Yes, I'm a coward who does not have a death wish.)
Or if I'm feeling brave and confrontational, a death glare will suffice.
That said, I do apologise when I knock into others, ok?
Or rather, I go "Ack, ooops."
This feels like I just cleared my bowel system.
(Hehehe.)
.
Anyway, out to celebrate Pat's birthday.
♥
Z says I look like angry bird. Quite cute, no? HAHAHAHHAHA!
Z says I look like angry bird. Quite cute, no? HAHAHAHHAHA!
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