Saturday, July 30, 2011
Chapter 237:
at 03:27
I don't like feeling sad. I detest it. I dislike it totally when I break down & cry 'cause something sucky happened in life.
Which brings me to the point that I'm truly scared of heartbreaks.
Some people I met in camps said, "It's fine, you're young so it's okay to have fun."
But you know what? After all the fun it's just an ending which at best is acceptable, at worse makes being mere acquaintances uncomfortable. & really, is the heartbreak worth all the fun?
To me it isn't. Or perhaps, I haven't met someone I find worthwhile. & so that's it. I'm happy alone, happy single, happy with 24/7 all to myself.
That so wrong?
*& I'm still gonnna find someone that makes me happier than when I'm single, & give me the feeling that there's a chance that we'll make it last. 'cause if it's not forever we're working for, what are we going towards? Fun & heartbreak?
Nah, I can't understand this theory of speedy love.
Call me an idealist. But you know what? I don't want someone handsome, someone hot, someone rich or someone smart. Just someone I can be comfy and happy w, 'cause to me life's just about spending happy moments with people you love.
VERY IDEALISTIC MEH?
Chapter 236:
at 02:46
Insights gained recently:
While you don't agree with someone's way of life it may not necessarily means that you have to voice it out. Just smile demurely and let the moment pass.
But just to let you know, I am asking myself whether I am too much of a conservative (which I have always thought I am not)!!
Okay, let's just illustrate how liberal I can get:
- Lesbians and gays, I respect your rights.
- I'm not a racist, nor an elitist, or a xenophobe. (Self-proclaimed, you can think otherwise.)
- I told my secondary 3 students: "It's okay to make the decision to have sex, 'cause I can't stop you, but bear the consequences yourself. But remember, never broadcast such information, nor put it into tapes/pictures form that'll put you in a vulnerable state."
- Likewise, I told them, regardless of anything I find wrong, like having sex at their age, or smoking, I will accept it as long as they think that it's a sensible decision.
But you know, through it all, I just can't stand decisions make by people to deliberately hurt feelings or others, or rather made in negligence of feelings of others.
I mean, stop it jerks and she-jerks. Stop being so proud that you walk out of relationships with the upper hand even though it just meant that you have humiliated and stepped on the other party's ego.
It's not even playing fair yet you appear to emerge victorious? No, I sure as hell DO NOT respect you.
.
I find the fact that you are proud that you have multiple relationships which are not even great in quality downright pathetic.
I find that when you do not even feel ashamed that you deliberately two-timed or jumped ship unbelievable.
Granted, I am DEFINITELY intrigued by what's happening behind the minds of such creatures, but seriously, I think I do not really want to know 'cause I might just burst a blood vessel.
I don't think it's me being too uptight nor too conservative. I am just extremely defensive over the feelings of humans such assholes have hurt.
You want to screw your life up? Do it, I won't even bat an eyelid. I just can't stand it when you drag people down with you.
It's merely an issue of integrity and conscience. Never do something so terrible to others that you would never wish it upon yourself.
It is so okay to fall out of love, or to realise he/she is not the person you're looking for. But each end deserve its respect. Don't mar it with your thoughtlessness.
OH MY GOD. I AM FEELING SO INDIGNANT NOW EVEN THOUGH IT DOESN'T EVEN CONCERN ME. UGH.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Chapter 235:
at 20:53
Don't ever start making me start to think that everything's your fault.
'cause once it start, it ain't gonna stop.
Stop the self-delusion, stop the accusations.
Chapter 234:
at 20:09
You don't know what is craziness until someone who should protect you threatens to break your head with a glass bottle.
I don't understand how one can still treat death lightly when it has been proven that it's not too far away.
Welcome to my life.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Chapter 233:
at 23:36
When do you want to retire?
Some people says 45 years old, and they work day and night for 20 odd years, telling themselves, a few more years, a few more years. They aimed to have a better life at the age of 45 years old.
But I ask, why?
By then, your kids have already grown up and relationships can't be build over night.
You lost time - their time, to love them and grow up with them. You miss their firsts, and their proudest achievements because you felt that money was the best present you could have given.
What if by the time you are 45, your kids have already started having their own life that you're no longer welcome into?
And really, the biggest question, what if you die at the age of 45 years old?
If your life is to enjoy after the age of 45, does the fact that you dies at 45 render you life worthless? Does it makes it meaningless?
Then what exactly is life to you? To die?
And if this goal is shared by your spouse to both enjoy life and each other's company at the age of 45, what is left for him/her?
Does she go fulfilling each shared goal all on her own, stabbing her own heart each time as she goes about it?
.
Don't make promises that you can't 100% guarantee. You may want to keep it, but can you?
Don't make such long term plans that you can't fulfill.
Because you know what? This is life, something that can just be taken with a snap of a finger, be it a car crash or an operation failure. It'll be gone, just like that.
Please, live every moment knowing that you have made the best/near best of your time.
Indeed, we do long term events in our life. We make plans/save for the future. But do make each decision knowing that if circumstances were to change drastically and you were to die the next moment, rationally you would have done the same.
Take the above stated 45 year old retirement example. Why not choose to retire at 55 year old, but spend more time with your family and husband/wife. Wouldn't that be better?
.
Live everyday happily, don't postpone it. Because really, I find it the best thing life can ever give.
Live, Love, and Laugh.
Don't ever do something you don't enjoy just so you can enjoy later.
Because, what if, that moment never comes? Newer Posts
