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Monday, December 6, 2010
Chapter 170:
at 00:32

I feel guilty for making such decisions, but really, when haven't I for doing things which I know might hurt others, but might benefit myself in the long run.
Even in the cases of friends who will continually hurt me.
Even when I struggled hell when it's cases like this.

It's like history coming true, just w different conditions and persons.

But eventually, I lose.

No?


.


One should never push the limits.

With understanding comes greater tolerance.
But one should keep in mind, no matter what, there's a limit.

Especially in ludicrous situations.

& again, I can only take joy in that you'll become better, as a final gift to you.

.


Food for thought.

Do we as humans, often take love from others and stuff it down others' throat, when they do not need it?

For example, love of a mother is endless towards a child.
But the child, will no doubt experience occasion when it pass the love on to friends, boyfriends or idols.
No?

It's kind of sad.

(I'm guilty-as-charged.)

Let's view it in a tangible light:

Love of the home-maker (mom/dad) comes in as a form of money.
Money for your allowance.

Fact: Regardless of how much you save, you are using their money.
(It comes from the allowance, indisputable; I rest my case when one is financially independent.)

So, what gives you the right to spend so much on another?
(Watch it, keyword - another.)

Have you started earning?
Have you done any work worthy of a pay?

So aren't you stupidly passing on the love to someone?

HUR?

To girlfriends/boyfriends.
(Yes, I will stick to this principle, and go dutch, unless I spend with my own earned money.)
To incomes of idols.
Whatever.

Plain frivolous.


(Not that I am not, but of course, once again the limit word kicks in again.)

.


Lastly, limit itself is subjective.
When thinking from one's perspective, it's endless in how people have to treat you.

But sometimes, think.

Think whether you've overstep the line.

.


Because while you're immersed in self-pity for yourself, you didn't notice that I stepped away.
It's too stifling & again, I feel that I lack something again.
Something I simply cannot measure up to.

Plainly, because of the stupid and idealistic priorities you set aside blindly.
Which, regardless of how much I try, I can't seem to reshuffle it.


& that's why I turn my back, hoping that both parties will find their happiness, in their own ways.
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