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Sunday, October 16, 2011
Chapter 251:
at 11:41

Life overwhelms me.

Just thought that I can relate very well to the analogy of life to a juggling act.
I recall it being that family, love, studies, etc are all balls that one juggles through his/her life. But, the trick is that certain balls you hold in your hand are glass - once dropped, they'll shatter.

And that's how I feel like now.

I think I'm fine as a student, and I think it's the first time in my life I was ever so committed to studying and doing my work. I think I'm a great project mate who gets things done. (It's a fact.)

Sadly, I think I fail as a daughter/sister. I face so much inertia at doing things which I should be when I'm in my comfort zone - home.
Somehow, there's a never-ending list of responsibilities but I can never get started on them.

I make promises every week that I'll start next week but somehow I never did.

I made promises after that incident, and I kept it, for months, till school started.

Maybe I just suck so badly at managing roles and commitments in life. Ugh.

Sigh, how I wish there's a ctrl+r function in life.
& since there aren't any, I just have to better myself as a working system so that I can work smoothly in all aspect.

I am still lacking.
And things that don't get done are solely, my responsibility and hence my fault.

Hokay, time to start work for the day. Marhhhhh.
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