Sunday, June 19, 2011
Chapter 231:
at 21:30
I get so exasperated when you derive a life principle & share it with others & they doubt it.
Hello, this is not read off a book, it's what I learnt in life by experiencing it in flesh.
Who are you to disprove that?
Take for example, I strongly believe that when a couple get married & have children in future, the couple should never ever revolve around the children solely.
I am not saying love your children less, nor that you neglect them. I am asking you to still place your husband/wife as priority.
It doesn't mean spending less time with the children than the husband/wife.
Think: if you suddenly have extra commitments, it merely means you have less time spent with your husband, but it doesn't mean you get lazy and refuse to do tasks for him, love him less, let him fade out of your caring vicinity.
That's the logic!
I find it sad that a couple in love slowly diverge over the course of 20 years 'cause they had devoted so much to the children.
(More often than not, it would be only a party doing it & the other party left neglected & then learning to live without him/her and just get on with life.)
And guess what happens after 20 years, when your children have grown up? When they no longer have time for you? Do you still hold on to them so tightly and become burdens of theirs?
Do you?
Or do you spend happy and enjoyable time with your husbands/wife, being happy together just retiring and travelling around the world?
Think about it, how do you mend a relationship 20 years gone? How do you spend day after day with him/her when the love is lost? How does the marriage even works whenn it was based on the children, now that they have grown up?
.
I used to see this daily in action. This is what I've learnt.
Do you dare tell me you disagree?
Of course, I am sparing you the details. You can tell me you see it too, and you want the opposite. ARE YOU SURE WHAT YOU HAVE SEEN IS WHAT I HAVE? Don't ever assume that you know what I feel, what I've seen, what I've experience.
All I can say is, trust me. Never let the children shift the focus of your marriage. You got married 'cause you love each other, and are able to take the commitments of raising kids together. You didn't get married just to have children.
Indeed, having children is a new responsibility. It is a serious commitment. Guess what? This is life, cope with it. Think of the love you fought for, the years you spent.
Are you sure this is what you want? To the point silence is not companionable, but the norm 'cause there's just nothing left to talk about.
Imagine 20 years of raising children but no dating at all. How are you going to do that when you're 50/60 years old?
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I truly believe that when parents are loving, they build a home filled with love.
The kids do not need to choose sides to stand on, and it's such a joy not to have to do that 'cause you know what? When both parties are your parents, how do you choose?
A loving home is just what a child needs.
If you love your husband/wife enough, you'll love the child enough 'cause as much as the child is yours, it's theirs too.
Let the children revolve around your happy marriage. Let them believe that love is possible. Let them know that as long as you work for it, love is there for you to grab on to.
'cause you know what?
Every child deserves to hope. Newer Posts
