Friday, August 14, 2009
Chapter 12:
at 21:46
I don't like it when someone pretends to agree just for the sake of agreeing.
Really don't like it.
Don't patronise me.
Makes me so peeved.
Trying to be so nice and "easy-going" when you don't actually mean it.
Like, errr...
You aceede but you don't really go & do the things.
WTF.
Who are you trying to kid.
Why pretend to be listening when you actually don't give a damn for what I am saying?
Why ask for my opinions when you don't value them & feels sceptical about them?
WHY?
Lack of sincerity.
Don't do such things then.
Really getting irritable these few days.
Maybe it's just my fault.
But I really felt annoyed at times.
Shucks.
I don't wanna throw tantrums like last time.
So I pretend.
How much more a hypocrite I can be, I dont' know.
I only know that last time, when I was more true to emotions, I was rather temperamental.
I had friends with the same character, but slowly I see more and more people hiding their true selves.
I don't like it.
But well, who's really so close to you to accept all of you?
I start to pretend too.
I guess it's a way of life to not let on everything so as to not be judged..
Sometimes, I really don't like doing group work.
You meet people who says that they can accept criticism when they actually can't.
& they think you're being mean by being critical.
So, we should all hide our opinions to ourselves when the ultimate aim is to improve?
I see.
But I don't understand how to do it.
I don't know how to agree when my heart doesn't.
I don't know how to laugh when I don't actually feel like.
I don't know how to smile and act friendly when I am annoyed.
I don't know.
Will you teach me?
Now, I am still at a confusing state.
I only know how to be silent when I'm not fine, so as to avoid conflict.
& I always use fatigue as an excuse.
Other than that, I don't know what to do.
Is hiding bad?
Not necessarily so.
As much as I don't like it, it's a shield.
I miss myself. Newer Posts
