Thursday, July 15, 2010
Chapter 60:
at 18:17
Yesterday, upon returning home in the evening, my mom went: Hello, 小宝贝, 我回来了!
I totally went: EEYER, YOU SIAO AH!
*shivers & goosebumps*
Hahaha, sometimes mommy is just cute.
& though it freaks me out, I secretly smile.
.
Taking a break from sorting through photos after photos!
It's tiring man!
Viewing photos are a pleasure, but when you got a dateline to meet, it's freaking tiring!
):
What's more I'm so lost about what I have to do.
Persevere, babe!
.
Was talking to Jia on the way home, & I think unfortunately, I'll have to admit that I write in the 2nd person perspective 'cause I'm scared of being too personal.
I get too overwhelmed at times by my own emotions.
& I fear letting on my insecurities & my absolute depression & sadness & things that are bothering way too much.
Recently, I've been feeling so inadequate that I end up feeling even more inadequate.
Where's the usual confidence darling?
& today I foresee that I'll be an easy victim of emotional abuse.
It's just that, I think I'll not be brave enough to walk away, & intrinsically, once you start to matter to me, I don't stop. I just don't.
Now, I tell myself that I must always love myself more & I must always know when I deserve better.
I believe that I can currently (in fact I'm rather good at it!), but this is when it hasn't happen.
But I doubt when it does I have the courage to save myself.
This is too truthful & I'm finally speaking from the first person voice.
It's kinda daunting.
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